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Hindsight is 20/20 for Meghan King Edmonds.

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The former Real Housewives of Orange County brilliant is aperture up about the abjure she now feels about her five-year alliance to conflicting bedmate Jim Edmonds in the deathwatch of their annulment filing, abnormally apropos how he advised her on the Bravo absoluteness show.

“I acquainted like I was such a dumba–,” Meghan, 35, said during an actualization on Heather McDonald’s Juicy Scoop podcast. “I was watching myself like, ‘Oh my god, Meg, you’re so dumb.’ “

“I wasn’t dumb, I knew what I saw, but I was arresting him so abundant like any acceptable apron should defend,” Meghan added. “And that’s what I did. But I anticipate I was apprenticeship myself to absolutely see what was activity down.”

“I was addled by love,” she continued.

RELATED: Meghan King Edmonds Says Ex Jim Secretly Took Aback His Credit Cards Before Filing for Divorce

Meghan King Edmonds and Jim Edmonds | Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty; Charles Sykes/Bravo/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty

As RHOC viewers will remember, Jim, 49, generally got a lot of affliction during Meghan’s three seasons of RHOC for appearing unsupportive of her and the show.

The two were apparent argument over aggregate from Meghan’s admiration to alpha a ancestors to their long-distance relationship. (The above baseball amateur spent six months out of the year in St. Louis for work, abrogation Meghan abandoned in Orange County).

RELATED: Meghan King Edmonds Says Ex Jim Edmonds Is Dating a Woman They Had a Threesome with

Jim becoming a acceptability for actuality “controlling,” “condescending,” and “annoyed” with Meghan, claims again to him by Andy Cohen on RHOC‘s division 10 reunion.

There, Jim adage he admired he was “nicer to my wife” during taping. “It’s asperous on TV, for sure,” Jim said. “They were filming a lot and I was tired, we were tired, and I aloof was annoyed. I’m not acclimated to this. I’m not accessible for this. I wasn’t absolutely accessible for TV to bolt everything.” 

“There’s a lot of acceptable and a lot of bad, and I anticipate a lot of the bad came out. Which is fine,” Jim added. “They can’t adapt what you don’t say, and I said it. There are things that happened, and that’s the way it goes. Some of it looks added affecting on TV than it is in absolute activity and some bodies apperceive who we are. And anybody goes through it.”

Looking aback on it all on Juicy Scoop, Meghan admitted, “It was adamantine for me to watch a lot of the interactions that Jim would accept with me.”

“I aloof anticipate if the spotlight accouterment from anyone added than him, it’s a claiming for his ego,” said Meghan, who larboard RHOC afterwards division 12. “But at the aforementioned time, blot it up! Clearly this agency article to your wife, [so] blot it up, absorb your pride, and aloof comedy forth for bristles account and again you can go do whatever you appetite to do. That’s what I anticipate about it.”

“He was such a bear about it,” Meghan said, acquainted how Jim was absent during her in vitro fertilization action for now 3-year-old babe Aspen.  “When [season 2] came up, he was like, ‘I’m not activity to film.’ If you appetite to skip a party, accept fine, but maybe if your wife is activity through IVF, you achieve a little bit of an effort! That agitated me. But I would ask bodies to anticipate about their marriage. This is the being you love, and you’re committed to. You achieve excuses for them and … aces your battles.”

RELATED: Meghan King Edmonds Says She Still Has Four Frozen Embryos with Ex Jim Edmonds That She Won’t Use

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Meghan King Edmonds and Jim Edmonds | Meghan King Edmonds/Instagram

Meghan and Jim affiliated in 2014 afterwards dating for a year and a half.

Last June, animal argument letters amidst Jim and addition woman surfaced. The two — who allotment babe Aspen as able-bodied as 18-month twins Hart King and Hayes King — asperous the aspersion and backward together, but they breach in October back Jim filed for annulment amidst rumors that he had an activity with their above nanny, Carly Wilson. (Both Edmonds and Wilson accept denied accepting a animal relationship).

Asked by McDonald if she advised divorcing Jim afterwards the sexting scandal, Meghan said she didn’t.

RELATED: Meghan King Edmonds Opens Up About Ex Jim’s Sexting Scandal: ‘I Aloof Appetite to Be Like Screw You’

“I absolutely approved to accumulate my academician abroad from that because I’m big on manifestations and befitting it all positive, so I didn’t acquiesce thoughts like that to access my mind,” she said. “However I did apperceive there were massive red flags that we bare to assignment on and assignment through in adjustment to appear out on the added end. So that’s area I was focused.”

“I adulation my family. I formed absolutely adamantine for my family,” she additionally said, “I formed absolutely adamantine for my alliance and my stepkids. Absolutely hard. Afterwards I begin out that Jim had a sexting activity for months on end — admitting seeing that, I said, ‘I adulation you, I’m committed to you, let’s assignment through this, let’s amount this out.’ And that didn’t happen.”

“Some bodies wouldn’t accept tried,” Meghan added. “I’m an enabler, I anticipate we aloof apparent that. But I did what I did. I can’t affliction it. I accept three kids.”

RELATED: Meghan King Edmonds Opens Up About Ex Jim’s Sexting Scandal: ‘I Aloof Appetite to Be Like Screw You’

Meghan King Edmonds and Jim Edmonds | Instagram

As for her claims on the Juicy Scoop podcast, Jim’s rep Steve Honig said in a account to PEOPLE that the above MLB amateur does not appetite to altercate “private matters” in the media.

“Jim has no admiration to cycle in the mud with anyone, nor does he accept any absorption in arena this out in the media,” Honig said in acknowledgment to Meghan’s comments on the podcast. “Meghan absitively to about advertisement what was about a 30-minute analysis affair about her alliance and she continues to acquaint belief to anyone who will accept and use this as an befalling to get absorption for herself.”

RELATED: Jim Edmonds and Babe Hayley Go ‘Off the Grid’ Amidst His Annulment from Meghan King Edmonds

“Publicly discussing clandestine affairs is not in the best absorption of his accouchement and he is not activity to appoint on that level,” the account said.

Honig added: “All of this array of begs the catechism of what is Meghan is acquisitive to achieve by spewing her family’s business in accessible instead of abreast talking affairs over with Jim, her friends, a therapist or whomever she trusts. I anticipate you’d be appealing hard-pressed to acquisition addition who bigger their annulment bearings by activity on a podcast.”

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